


Wings, Carry Me Home

by Shattered_Valor



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author is late to the party, But I brought angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 19:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16331795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_Valor/pseuds/Shattered_Valor
Summary: Lapis returns to Earth in search of Peridot, only to become caught in a battle. Just as she's on the verge of reuniting with Peridot, the conflict between the Crystal Gems and Homeworld turns things sour...





	Wings, Carry Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate take on Lapis' return to Earth. This was written long before the episode depicting her return aired.
> 
> This was written in November 2017, but I didn't get around to posting it until now. owo;; This is dedicated to the members of the discord I am a part of. Without their help, this wouldn't have been as good as it is.

With her water wings unfurled, Lapis paused outside of the Earth’s atmosphere. Behind her, water sloshed in its protective dome around the barn. _Time to go home. I…I’ve spent enough time away. I can’t afford to keep running._ With a beat of her wings, Lapis descended. She closed her eyes as wind rushed around her—a pleasant sensation she didn’t realize she missed. It felt gentler and more comforting than the air that blew past her as she fled from Earth. It felt like home. _Peridot…I’m going to come find you. I’m going to make things right._

Minutes later, Lapis found herself hovering over the crater she left behind. Her insides twisted in discomfort. _I need to find Peridot…tell her I’m sorry. Steven would know where she is, right?_ She lowered the barn back into place and directed the water into the hole where the smaller-than-average lake once sat. Lapis landed on the ground and nervously grabbed her elbow. _I hope she isn’t too angry, but I also hope she…I want her to be honest with me._ Taking a deep breath, Lapis formed her wings and hopped up into the air. She angled herself towards the Temple, only to pause. Distant voices screamed out, mixed in with the sounds of battle. _The Crystal Gems must be here…Steven must be here then._

Lapis zoomed over to the scene, eyes searching for Steven. A pink shimmer caught her eye. Her gaze flicked over to see Connie and Steven fighting back-to-back, with a familiar green gem right alongside them. _Peridot!_ Lapis’ eyes lit up. She propelled herself forward, wary of the Homeworld gems caught up in battle against the other Crystal Gems. Lapis opened her mouth, prepared to call out to Peridot. The din of battle drowned out her shaky voice in an instant. _I need to get closer._ Up ahead, the scene unfolded before her at a painfully slow rate despite Lapis’ best efforts.

“Peridot, throw the metal pole over _there_!” Steven pointed towards a group of Homeworld gems fighting Pearl and Amethyst as he blocked some attacks directed at him and Connie.

Irritation flashed across Peridot’s face as she narrowly dodged a strike from a war hammer. “I’m _trying_ to—”

Another Homeworld gem rushed towards Steven and Connie—the kids remained unaware, focused solely on their immediate surroundings. Lapis’ eyes widened at the same time Peridot’s did. _I need to move faster!_ Another powerful beat of her wings sent her forward, but still she moved far too slow. _No, no, no!_ She balled one of her hands up, forming a ball of water out of the smaller-than-average lake.

“STEVEN, LOOK OUT!” Peridot shoved Steven out of the way and into Connie; the strike connected with her forehead.

**C-CRACK!**

A guttural roar tore through Lapis’ throat as Peridot staggered backwards, “NO, PERIDOT!”

Peridot’s hand flew to her visor as her voice eked out in a disbelieving whisper. “Wh-wha—Lapis?!”

Water moved through the air in a menacing swirl. Ire filled Lapis’ eyes as she directed it towards the Homeworld gem. Water pierced through the gem’s torso without difficulty. A gasp of pain slipped past her lips moments before her form destabilized with a resounding pop. Before the square-cut gemstone landed on the ground, Connie snatched it out of the air. She tightly grasped on to it as Steven steadied Peridot.

_Stars, is she okay?_ Tears pricked the corners of Lapis’ eyes as she landed and turned towards her. “Peridot, are you okay?”

Peridot stumbled for a moment longer, clasping her hand on Steven’s shoulder. Her other hand remained over her gemstone. _Peridot, look at me. Please…._ Lapis stepped closer to the duo with one hand hesitantly outstretched towards Peridot. As if she sensed Lapis’ thought, Peridot dazedly looked up at Lapis. Her eyes lit up and a gentle smile spread across her lips. Despite the joy Lapis felt in that moment, her heart sank. _Oh no…._ Peridot’s eyes appeared cloudy and wrong in a way that made Lapis’ insides twist.

“L-Lapis! You’re back!” Peridot stepped towards her, stance just a bit wobbly, moving her hand from Steven’s shoulder and towards Lapis’ arm. “You’re _okay_!”

A brief pause passed between the two as Lapis relished in the feeling of Peridot’s hand on her arm. A comfortable warmth blossomed in her chest, nearly dispelling the feeling of unease that bubbled up there. _I missed her so much…._ Lapis tried to blink away her tears, only for more to sprout up and replace the old ones. She sucked in a shuddering breath and cupped Peridot’s cheek with one hand.

“Peridot….” Lapis gingerly reached out with her free hand and removed Peridot’s hand from her forehead.

Cloudy eyes stared curiously up at her as she examined the damage. _Oh, Peri…._ Several thin, jagged lines ran through the center of Peridot’s gemstone. Lapis placed a featherlight touch on the largest line. _Why would you let yourself get hurt like this?_ She glanced down at Peridot’s eyes to see her somberly gazing back. _I should have been around to prevent this…. I should have arrived_ sooner _!_ Lapis lowered her hand from Peridot’s gemstone, though her other hand remained cupped around her cheek.

_She needs to be healed before anything else happens._ “Steven, can you—”

“Watch out!” Connie ran in front of Steven with her sword raised to parry an incoming slash before nimbly poofing the Homeworld gem. “We need to get out of here first!”

Steven hurriedly bubbled away the small gemstones in Connie’s hands. “We need to find the others!”

Lapis furrowed her brow, eyes darting between Connie and Peridot. “Peridot needs her gem fixed!”

“Lapis….” Peridot weakly grasped Lapis’ elbow; her eyes glitched and a crack appeared across her visor. “I-I can’t….”

“Steven, do something!” Wrapping a protective arm around her, Lapis pressed Peridot close and turned to Steven.

He nodded in response, “Here, let me—”

Without warning, something large and heavy shoved Lapis aside. Peridot cried out in alarm as she blindly flailed her arms in search of Lapis. _Peridot!_ Lapis clenched her hands into fists, rearing her right arm back with water bending to her will overhead. Numerous Homeworld quartzes appeared in Lapis’ line of sight, weapons raised to attack. Before one struck her, a familiar pink shield soared over them and slammed into a Homeworld gem’s face. As she stumbled back, a small hand wrapped around Lapis’ left wrist and yanked her back. An undignified yelp escaped her lips as she stumbled away from the Homeworld gem. A swift swing of a pink blade destabilized the gem’s form soon afterward; Steven leaped forward to bubble the gemstone. He sent the bubble away as Connie whirled around to defend him from another attack.

Lapis’ eyes softened for a moment as she observed the two. _They’re caught up in this war too…._ She shook her head, lifting her hands up from her sides. At the edge of her mind, she felt her power tug at the water around her. Again, the liquid swirled in the air. Instead of forming a threatening spear, Lapis formed a protective barrier around Steven, Connie, and herself. _We need to find Peridot! Where_ is _she?!_ She spun on her heel, eyes searching desperately for her.

“Peridot! Peridot, where are you?!” Lapis raised her voice over the sounds of fighting, narrowly dodging an attack from an opportunistic quartz.

A familiar voice cried out in response, “Lapis, I can’t see! Where are you?!”

Her heart fluttered in concern, wings reflexively forming in response. _She’s nearby, Lapis. Don’t leave Steven and Connie alone._ Lapis took a deep breath, casually smacking the Homeworld quartz aside. _Focus and find her._ As her water wings finally dissipated, a hauntingly noticeable crack went over the din of battle. The sound thundered in Lapis’ mind; it was the only thing distinguishable to her at the moment. Water dangerously whirled around her and the kids as her hands curled into fists. She narrowed her eyes and bent the water to her will, laying all the Homeworld gems in her way to waste.

“Whoa, wait! Lapis—” Steven ducked away from a spurt of water. “Don’t hurt anyone! Just—just poof them, and we’ll handle the rest!”

Lapis paid him and Connie little mind as she tore through the Homeworld gems. “Peridot, _where_ are you?!”

Steven peered through a break in the enemy line, “Ah! Lapis, over there! She’s on the ground!”

Again, Lapis’ water wings formed. She hopped into the air and rushed towards Peridot without a second thought. Behind her, she heard Steven call out to her in alarm. _I need to get to her! She’s hurt! I can bring her back. I’ll save her!_ Lapis twisted around in the air, nimbly dodging the projectiles aimed at her. With a sweeping gesture of Lapis’ arm, a plume of water pushed aside the handful of quartzes in her way.

Lapis landed softly beside Peridot, who stared up at the skies with unseeing eyes. Her eyes glitched and her face contorted in pain. _No, no…._ Fear froze Lapis in place. Despite all the fighting in the background, she couldn’t force herself to move. Her eyes remained focused on her barn mate. _She’s…no, she can’t just…. I was_ right there _to…._ A low, pained sound interrupted Lapis’ line of thought.

“Is…is it over yet?” Peridot feebly raised an arm, as if reaching for an offered hand. “…Lapis? Are you still there? …Or was…was this another dream?”

In an instant, Lapis rushed to Peridot’s side and fell to her knees. She gathered Peridot into her arms, cradling her close. A feeling of unease washed over her as she looked to the cracks lining Peridot’s gemstone. _I need to get her to Steven…._ _We can save her._ Hesitantly, Lapis brushed her fingers lightly against Peridot’s cheek. Her eyes desperately searching to meet Peridot’s unfocused gaze. Glassy, soft teal eyes stared blankly upward through Peridot’s broken visor.

“Peridot, I’m right here.” Biting back a scared whimper of her own, Lapis gently caressed Peridot’s cheek. “Don’t….”

Lapis shuddered as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. She bit hard into her bottom lip, fighting against the dull ache in her chest. _I can still save her; I can get her to Steven. I_ won’t _let another war take something precious from me._ Lapis took a deep, unsteady breath. _I’m not going to lose Peridot._

“Just keep your form, okay? You can do that for me, right?” _You’ve done so much for me, Peri. I’m sorry I never…I’ll make it up to you, I swear._ Lapis furiously blinked away her tears. “Peridot, hang on. Stay formed.”

A glimmer of recognition faintly appeared in Peridot’s eyes, only to be cut short by a brief glitch. “…I’d…I’d do _anything_ for…for _you_ , Lapis. But, it hurts…I need to retreat into my gem….”

“No, you don’t!” Lapis’ voice wavered.

“I’ll…I’ll come right back, Laz.”

“ _Please_ , just stay with me, Peri. If you try to…to—you might _not_ …” Lapis tightened her grip around Peridot’s shoulders, tucked her other arm underneath Peridot’s knees, and lifted her up. “Stay with me, Peri. I’m going to find Steven; he will heal you.”

Peridot groaned feebly in response, lips tightly pressed together.

Lapis formed her wings, only to pause as Peridot winced at the movement. _The sooner we find Steven, the better; but, I don’t want to hurt her…._ Narrowing her eyes, Lapis formed a protective barrier around herself and Peridot. She strode forward, into the chaotic battlefield. _I’m surprised they didn’t—_ In her peripheral vision, a familiar purple-spiked whip swung through the air as a light-blue bladed spear stabbed and destabilized a Homeworld quartz. _Right, the Crystal Gems…._ Lapis’ eyes caught sight of a familiar pink sword amidst the chaos. _Connie! Steven must be fighting alongside her._ She clutched Peridot close to her chest as she ran towards the duo.

“Just a bit longer, okay, Peri?”

Peridot remained eerily silent.

“… _Peri_?”

“Sorry,” Peridot grunted; she limply placed her hand on top of Lapis’, “I’m trying…to stay formed…need focus. _Hurts._ ”

Dread flooded into Lapis’ mind as she mindlessly smacked aside an incoming Homeworld gem without a glance. _No, not like this. I’m not losing Peridot! I won’t let Homeworld take anything—_ anyone _—else from me!_ Her water wings trembled as she rushed towards Steven and Connie. Lapis felt tears stream down her cheeks as she barreled through the chaos.

“Steven! STEVEN, OVER HERE!” She nearly ran into Steven’s shield as he reflexively raised it up. “You _need_ to heal Peridot, Steven. Please, she’s….”

“I…I can try, but Lapis….” Once their final opponent was eliminated by a plume of water, Steven lowered his shield and gently placed a hand on Peridot’s arm. “If…if it doesn’t work—”

Lapis firmly shook her head. “It has to! It did when you helped _me_ , remember?”

“I’m just….” Steven trailed off; his face twisted in pain. “ _If_ it doesn’t….”

“It will! I….” Lapis gently gripped Peridot’s arm as a reminder that she was still _there_. “I trust you, Steven.”

“It’s not trust that I’m worried about, Lapis.” His eyes darkened a bit, making him appear far older than he was. “Put her on the ground, so she has some space.”

A feeling of unease blossomed in Lapis’ chest. “…I can hold her; it’s fine.”

Steven stared up at her for a moment and then sighed. “Okay.”

“What…What’s going on?” Peridot tilted her head toward the conversation, eyes squinted and still unseeing. “…’m tired. Hurts to—”            

To Lapis’ horror, Peridot’s legs glitched for a moment; she looked to Steven with despair in her eyes. “Steven, she needs help!”

He met her look with a teary gaze of his own. “I’ll _try_ Lapis, but you need to put her on the ground. If another Homeworld gem knocks you guys down…. Just put her down, okay?”

“No,” Connie cleared her throat, warily eying the battlefield. “Lapis, just kneel down. That way, you can still hold her.”

“Right,” Lapis knelt down, firmly gripping Peridot in her arms.

“Peridot?” Steven moved to kneel in front of the duo; his eyes tearfully focused on Peridot’s blank stare.

Her head lolled towards the boy. “…Steven?”

“You’re going to be okay, I’m going to heal you now.” He licked his hand and pressed it against Peridot’s gemstone.

Peridot blinked in confusion and managed a small smile in Steven’s general direction, “Wow, thanks. For everything.”

Steven’s bottom lip quivered. “Don’t talk like that, Peri! You…you’re going to be fine!”

“…Don’t want to…leave things unsaid.” Peridot slowly turned her head towards Lapis, leaning heavily into her arms. “Lapis, I—”

“Tell me later, Peridot. When you’re better,” Lapis tightened her embrace once more. “When you’re better.”

Lightning streaked across the clouds above. A booming thunderclap followed soon after. Rain pitter-pattered down around the quartet as they waited for Steven’s spit to work its magic. After another tension-filled moment, Steven removed his hand from Peridot’s gem. He stared at the cracks lining her gemstone in concern, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

“…Is it working? Can I…can I retreat into my gem now?”

“Peridot, don’t.”

Lapis peered down at her, at the icy rain trickling down Peridot’s cheeks. With a trembling hand, she gingerly wiped away the water, only to pause. Her hand wavers as she realizes that Peridot is crying as well. _I’m so sorry, Peri. I shouldn’t have left._ More tears streaked down Lapis’ face as she bit down on the inside of her cheek. _I never meant to make you cry…._

“I’m trying, Lapis…. I’m staying strong for you, but….”

Lapis bit back a sob, though her voice cracked, “I-I know.”

They sat there in silence as the fighting continued around them. Steven leaned back from the duo. He took a deep breath and then set a hand on Peridot’s shoulder. Tears unashamedly rolled down his cheeks as he tried to speak. Out of the corner of her eye, Lapis saw Connie shift hesitantly on her feet. She appeared torn between kneeling alongside them and defending them from opportunistic Homeworld gems. Steven looked towards Connie and sent her a resolute nod; Lapis looked towards her. Connie nodded back at Steven and brandished her sword. Before she took off into the heat of battle, Pearl landed gracefully beside her and cut down another Homeworld gem.

“…Peridot, I’m so sorry. I….” Lapis sucked in a shuddering breath as she focused back on Peridot. “I’m _so_ sorry…. I shouldn’t have left.”

“I…already forgave you, Lapis.” Peridot smiled fondly up at her, blindly reaching up to cup Lapis’ cheek. “I understood…I understood why….”

“Don’t leave, Peridot. Please. _Please_!” Lapis furiously blinked away her tears, afraid to let go of Peridot. “I just got back. I want to be better; I want to be here with _you_! Don’t leave…. Stars, _please_ , don’t leave!”

Lapis’ vision blurred as sobs escaped her throat. Her grip around Peridot loosened. Gentle hands slowly pulled Peridot away from her. _No, Peridot!_ On reflex, Lapis’ water wings began to form with wild, threatening swings. Through her tears, she spotted a familiar pink shirt and forced herself to calm down. _We’re here; Steven’s trying to heal her…._ Lapis reluctantly let Steven take Peridot into his arms; she watched as he let tears fall down his cheeks. Steven sniffled loudly as his bottom lip quivered.

“I…I’m going to miss you, Peri…. I’m sorry I couldn’t—”

“…Clod. It’s fine,” Peridot gently patted his arm; her voice faint. “Take…take care of Lapis, okay?”

Steven nodded his head with a half-hearted smile, “I-I will, I promise.”

Peridot narrowed her eyes, though she clearly couldn’t see. “Don’t…don’t blame yourself, Steven. I _chose_ this.”

“You didn’t need to! If you hadn’t pushed me out of the way—”

_No, no, no!_ Lapis watched the exchange with despair building up in her chest.

“Steven, it’s…it’ll be okay. Take care of yourself…take care of Lapis….”

“Peridot, don’t go! I—” Lapis stopped short; one hand outstretched towards Peridot’s cheek. “P-Peridot, please don’t!”

Steven bowed his head as tears streamed freely down his cheeks. He brought Lapis into the embrace; both of them pressed against Peridot as a final comfort. _Not like this; I just got back._ Lapis fought back another sob as she glanced down. Steven’s cheek was pressed against Peridot’s gemstone. Biting her lip, Lapis pulled away from them. She balled her hands into fists and stared down at Peridot, who continued to glitch out. Gently, she took one of Peridot’s hands into her own and gripped as tightly as she could.

“I…I’m sorry I left.” _I shouldn’t have gone away._ Lapis forced her eyes shut and bowed her head low. “I’d do anything for you, if it meant you’d be okay….”

Peridot weakly squeezed her hand back. “Stay…stay…with Steven. Stay _home_.”

“I _am_ home….” Lapis blinked blearily down at Peridot; her voice came out in a harsh whisper. “Home is leaving _me_ this time….”

Something glinted in the corner of her eyes, though she paid it little mind. Meanwhile, Steven gasped and let out a watery chuckle. Lapis confusedly eyed him. _Why is he laughing?_ His mouth moved but the words barely registered in her ears. The sounds of fighting drowned out Steven’s words. Steven loudly repeated the phrase with his eyes alight with renewed hope.

“L-Lapis, look! I think it was my tears; Peridot’s gem—"

Lapis’ eyes flicked towards the cracked gemstone. _Steven’s tears! They—they’re working!_ Bit-by-bit the pale pink light sealed up the cracks lining Peridot’s gem. Lapis let go of Peridot’s hand and wrapped her arms around her. A sob of relief passed Lapis’ lips.

“Oh, thank the stars! You’re going to be okay.” She cradled Peridot close, resting her head on top of Peridot’s soft, triangular hair. “…I’m going to make this up to you, Peridot.”

For her part, Peridot snuggled as close to Lapis as she could. She tiredly glanced up at the her. A blissful smile graced Peridot’s features. Lapis caringly met her gaze. _This won’t happen again, Peridot. Next time, I’ll be right beside you; nothing will hurt you again._ Teal eyes fluttered shut as Peridot finally succumbed to exhaustion. Lapis protectively hunched over Peridot with water wings unfurled to form a barrier around her and the nearby children.


End file.
